Cooleague

A mother and her son were having supper together. When it was time for the pudding (some prunes and cream); the boy refused to eat the prunes. The mother told the boy that he must eat his pudding but he refused. She then tried to coerce him without success.

Now she started to feel cross and said: “If you don’t eat your prunes I am going to get very angry with you”. That had no effect.

Then she said: “If you don’t eat your prunes then your father will be very angry with you when he gets home”. That had no effect either.

Then she said: “If you don’t eat your prunes God will be very angry with you and you can go off to bed right now”. As before, he refused to eat his pudding and so was packed off to bed.

The mother finished supper and went to do the washing-up. A big thunderstorm started-up outside and suddenly she thought to herself that she had been too harsh and that her son would be terrified by the thunder and lightning since she has told him how God would be angry with him.

She rushed upstairs and into his bedroom, where the boy lay. He looked up and calmly, simply said; “What a lot of fuss over five prunes”.

Some good few years ago, a couple, discerning a need, set up a fish shop in Cavan, the county town of County Cavan in Ireland.

Well it was a resounding success. People hadn’t realised that if you could get nice fresh fish of all sorts of varieties in this area, some distance from the sea, that they would buy lots of it.

In under a month they closed down. Wondering just why (and suspecting that probably there had been problems with getting adequate supplies) a friend asked them “Why on earth have you closed your lovely shop”?

The husband sighed and said “Ah! you just couldn’t stand it or believe it. There was people coming in here morning, noon and night bothering us for fish“!

A laird was out walking over his boundless highland estate when he encountered a tramp on his travels. He was most annoyed by this and said to the tramp “What do you think you are doing here? Get off my land immediately”.

The tramp sighed, gathered his few bits and pieces together and began to head off. After a few paces he stopped, turned and said “I’m sorry I didn’t know it was your land. But would you tell me how it came to be your land”?

“Be off with you; that’s none of your business” replied the laird.

“Please humour me” said the tramp “and let me know how it came to be yours”?

The laird then said “Well alright then; I got it from my father. Now be off with you.”

“Ah I see” said the tramp “and how then did he come by it”?

“Well he got it from his father replied the laird”.

This went on for a while, repetitively, till the laird, somewhat irked, said “Well he fought some man for it”?

“Right”, said the tramp; rolling up his sleeves!